Don't reinstate the FOE MOOC.

#foemooc

Coursera's and Georgia Tech's Fundmanetals of online teaching ought not to bend in the face of protest and reinstate the course. At least not until the quality is raised and the instruction model *scrupulously practices what it preaches*.

I am sitting gobsmacked that so many students on the FOE forum are blaming "grumblers and whiners" for having "broken" the "high quality" course.


There are already too many people running around making pig's ear of online delivery which is turning students (and student's parents) off the concept from the onset because they are at the sharp end of poor planning and delivery.

The last thing we need is thousands of people waving a cert. from Georgia tech, being seen as an in-house expert as a result and being given the responsibility of trickle down training to their peers.


Particularly where they are at risk of modelling NOT what the course readings were trying to get across, but the "do what I say, not do what I do" style of delivery that they absorbed from their own instruction.

Wow, there are some teachers/trainers with a massive embracement of learner autonomy out there. I know it is a seductive concept...but ..seeing it en mass is ..well I just don't have words. The thought of that over embracement combined with a (mind boggling) perception of FOE's delivery being a benchmark of high quality and "that's how you do it!" gives me the willies.

It can be hard enough to counteract student resistance to new modes and methods of instruction as it is. The last thing we need is to build up that resistance due to poor design, application and delivery being replicated by a sub set FOE  participants. Specifically thanks to the misguided efforts of those who were unable to realistically assess the quality of the course, in order to avoid making the same basic mistakes. Certainly education and training fields need that like a hole in the head. Particularly where the risk is that back in their own fields and institutions that sub set of participants could well be perceived as "sort of certified" experts and go around infecting yet another staffroom with bad practice and an ill conceived vision of what quality online education looks like.

Hell no to HSLDA!

The Home School Legal Defence Association is good thing right ?

Not necessarily. It kind of depends if you are left feeling a little sick after discovering the following or not.


HSLDA is a religious organisation.

The founder is a practicing Quiverfull. (see note 1)

This is one of the more extreme versions of an already extreme sub section of Christianity.

This group believe in patriarchy, the submission of wives and children to their husband/father. They are against any form of birth control. Believe women should dress "modestly" (see note 2a). Favour homeschooling to isolate their children from being "contaminated" by any other beliefs or values. (see note 2b)

As a group they are taught it is Christian to practice physical punishment on their children. Details of how severe this kind of "godly" punishment can be is evident in the work of the Pearls. They advocate switching (using a small flexible implement as a whip, like a willow branch for example) for babies as young as six months old and using an even wider variety of implements to hit older children. In fact several children have been beaten or starved to death by their parents who mindlessly followed the Pearls advice. (see note 3)

HSLDA was one of the founders of a Christian university, and built it on their grounds. It teaches creationism. All students and teachers must sign "A statement of faith" that demand their adhesion to this concept. (see note 4)




HSLDA is not pro unschooling.

In their own words on their membership agreement you have to agree to...(note 5)

To use a clearly organized program of education to instruct our children.
To keep records of each child’s educational progress.

Many American unschoolers accuse HSLDA of prioritising a right wing Christian agenda above an agenda to defend homeschoolers rights. In fact HSLDA released this propaganda during the previous presidential election. "Homeschoolers for Huckabee".

Huckabee (see note 6), being a potential republican candidate with a bad track record for failing to stand up for homeschoolers rights, he was also strongly endorsed by the NEA who proposed:

"The National Education Association believes that home schooling programs based on parental choice cannot provide the student with a comprehensive education experience. When home schooling occurs, students enrolled must meet all state curricular requirements, including the taking and passing of assessments to ensure adequate academic progress. Home schooling should be limited to the children of the immediate family, with all expenses being borne by the parents/guardians. Instruction should be by persons who are licensed by the appropriate state education licensure agency, and a curriculum approved by the state department of education should be used."

Outwardly HSLDA claim to support unschoolers. But their affiliations, membership agreement and actions depict an *entirely* different picture.



HSLDA is a right wing organisation.

They founded Generation Joshua, a Christian organisation to get children politically active. It claims to have no specific political position. Yet only Republican candidates have been supported by their members. (see note 7)


And returning to their the slogan "Homeschoolers for Huckabbee" (a Republican presidential candidate). Please note they made it sound like they spoke for ALL homeschoolers, failing utterly to make it clear they were operating without the mandate of American homeschoolers in general. Unsurprisingly since American homeschoolers represent the whole spectrum of political affiliation. (see note 6)



HSLDA supports hitting children

In their own words on their FAQ page.

"The UN Treaty on the Rights of the Child is an example of the UN’s view of the family. We oppose the UN Treaty on the Rights of the Child because it would strip parents of much of their authority to educate, train, and nurture their children according to the dictates of their conscience." (see note 8)

NB the use of the word "train" may sound strange to you in relation to children rather than dogs. However it is worth noting the title of the Pearl's book advocating a horrifying degree of physical punishment for babies and children, is called "To Train Up a Child". (see note 3)

They have a clear position on defending the right to hit children as can be seen in many statements on their site. (see note 8)

If Senate Bill 2180 passes the Mississippi Legislature, a parent would be in jeopardy of receiving a life sentence in prison for spanking a child. Sponsored by Senator Brice Wiggins (District 52-Jackson), this legislation would make it a felony to “whip, strike or otherwise abuse any child,” thereby causing “bodily harm” to the child. “Reasonable discipline” would be an exception to this offense. The minimum penalty upon conviction of this crime would be 10 years in prison. The maximum penalty would be life in prison.Unfortunately, the terms “bodily harm” and “reasonable discipline” are not defined in the law, so it would be up to judges to determine whether parents had crossed the line and committed a crime worthy of imprisonment. Would bodily harm include inflicting pain or leaving red marks or bruises on a child? Is it reasonable discipline to use a switch, a paddle, or other object in spanking a child? Obviously there are differing opinions on this subject, and because of this, any child abuse legislation must precisely define terms to ensure that parents maintain the right to administer reasonable corporal discipline without fear of being imprisoned.Home School Legal Defense Association will continue to track the progress of SB 2180 and work with the homeschoolers of Mississippi to bring about a defeat of this dangerous bill."



HSLDA is anti gay.

On their site they are very clear that they will fight any attempt to "destroy the traditional family" by passing legislation that allows gay people to marry. (see note 9)

If you type "homosexual" into their internal search engine there is no lack of evidence, in their own words, that they are against tolerance towards gay people.(see note 10)



Why should you care over here in Italy ?

Because of while HSLDA claims it has no plans to open a European Office, it has in recent times been spreading its tentacles in Europe in its own right or via other Christian homeschool organisations that share their ethos.

Sweden
http://www.hslda.org/hs/international/Sweden/201106030.asp

Germany
http://www.hslda.org/docs/media/2010/201001190.asp

HSLDA collaborated in creating and generating negative publicity about Gemany and Sweden. Obviously the respective governments and populations of those two countries were, in significant numbers, offended and felt misrepresented.

Hands up if you think the high profile involvement of a right wing, fundamental Christian pressure group helped to highlight that homeschoolers are a highly diverse bunch who AREN'T the homogenous stereotype of "religious "loonies" who want to isolate their children from the world" that we are often believed to be ?

Hands up if you feel that their approach was a sensitive and cautious way of "helping" two homeschooling communities already feeling serious pressure and prejudice ?



Personally I feel I need their help like I need a hole in the head and a sledgehammer to my frontal lobe. In fact you'd HAVE to take a hammer to my brain and render it well damaged before I'd ever endorse, collaborate or seek to emulate them.

Please be aware who these people are and what they stand for when you see references to them.

And please know, however they word things to indicate otherwise, neither they, (nor people who collaborate with them), speak for me.

Not as a homeschooler, not as a woman, not as a mother, not as a supporter of equal civil rights regardless of sexual orientation, not as a human being.

On any level.

Ever.

In fact if HSLDA say something, even though I am a "homeschooling weirdo" just assume I whole heartedly DISAGREE, unless I explicitly state otherwise. In which case look up. Airborne bacon has arrived.



NOTES


note 1
"Michael Farris - Farris, a conservative United States constitutional lawyer, founded the Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA) and Patrick Henry College. His wife Vickie is the author of A Mom Just Like You (2002). The couple has ten children and six grandchildren.[42][43]"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quiverfull


note 2a

example of "modest" swim wear for young girls and women
http://www.wholesomewear.com/showMaterial.php?picture=EX_LG_Photo_Black-Turquoise.jpg



note 2b
Extract
"Leading Christian patriarchy organization Vision Forum promises that if you raise your children according to their teachings, homeschooling in order to “shelter” from “evil influences” and “teach God’s truth” and emphasizing the hierarchical teachings of Christian patriarchy, your child will not stray from Christ’s side like all those willful pagan children in the public schools"

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/2012/02/how-the-doctrine-of-hell-justifies-quiverfull-authoritarian-parenting/



note 3

The Pearls - extract
"In their self-published book, To Train Up a Child, Pearl, 66, and his wife Debi, 60, recommend the systematic use of "the rod" to teach young children to submit to authority. They offer instructions on how to use a switch for hitting children as young as six months, and describe how to use other implements, including a quarter-inch flexible plumbing line. Older children, the Pearls say, should be hit with a belt, wooden spoon or willow switch, hard enough to sting. Michael Pearl has said the methods are based on "the same principles the Amish use to train their stubborn mules."
There are 670,000 copies of the book in circulation, and it's especially popular among Christian home-schoolers such as Larry and Carri Williams of Sedro-Woolley, Wash. In September, local prosecutors charged them with homicide by abuse after their adopted daughter Hana, 11, was found naked and emaciated in the backyard, having died of hypothermia and malnutrition. She had been deprived of food for days at a time, and made to sleep in an unheated barn.
Hana, originally from Ethiopia, also had been beaten with a plastic tube, as recommended by Michael Pearl. Carri Williams had praised the book--which advises that "a little fasting is good training"--and had given a copy to a friend, local authorities say."

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/pastor-corporal-punishment-advice-scrutinized-child-deaths-160004793.html

Quiverfull movement and the Pearls, from a former Quiverfull member.
http://www.rhrealitycheck.org/article/2011/11/02/corpses-dont-rebel-former-quiverfull-mom-reacts-to-death-of-hana-williams-by-biblical-chastisement



note 4

HSLDA and Patrick Henry College

extracts
"The school was founded with the help of the Home School Legal Defense Association, and now serves as the headquarters for the organization, with which it is still closely connected."

"Patrick Henry College (PHC) is a private, independent college with an Evangelical Christian basis"

"All students must sign a "Statement of Faith" before they arrive, affirming belief in what the college considers core Christian doctrines. For example, students are asked to acknowledge "Satan exists as a personal, malevolent being who acts as tempter and accuser, for whom Hell, the place of eternal punishment, was prepared, where all who die outside of Christ shall be confined in conscious torment for eternity", and "Christ's death provides substitutionary atonement for our sins."[23] The college professes non-denominational Christian beliefs. Teaching faculty must also sign the "Statement of Faith", plus a more detailed "Statement of Biblical Worldview", which represents the College's requirements for what should be taught.[24] For example the Biblical Worldview Applications states that, "Any biology, Bible, or other courses at PHC dealing with creation will teach creation from the understanding of Scripture that God's creative work, as described in Genesis 1:1–31, was completed in six twenty-four hour days."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patrick_Henry_College



note 5
HSLDA membership agreement
http://www.hslda.org/join/agreement.asp


note 6


details of Huckabee's record on homeschool rights
http://spunkyhomeschool.blogspot.it/2007/12/huckabee-and-homeschoolers.html



note 7

extract
"Generation Joshua campaigns solely for conservative candidates who support pro-life and otherwise socially conservative platforms. [5] The group's focus on youth has led some atheists to characterize its mission as making "Christian nationalism palatable to the MTV generation"."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generation_Joshua

home page
http://www.generationjoshua.org/dnn/



note 8

HSLDA position on children's rights, primarily for the purposes of avoiding legal limits on corporal punishment.
http://www.hslda.org/docs/faqs/default.asp#q016

HSLDA re corperal punishement and the law
extract
...."Life Sentence For Spanking?

"If Senate Bill 2180 passes the Mississippi Legislature, a parent would be in jeopardy of receiving a life sentence in prison for spanking a child. Sponsored by Senator Brice Wiggins (District 52-Jackson), this legislation would make it a felony to “whip, strike or otherwise abuse any child,” thereby causing “bodily harm” to the child. “Reasonable discipline” would be an exception to this offense. The minimum penalty upon conviction of this crime would be 10 years in prison. The maximum penalty would be life in prison.

Unfortunately, the terms “bodily harm” and “reasonable discipline” are not defined in the law, so it would be up to judges to determine whether parents had crossed the line and committed a crime worthy of imprisonment. Would bodily harm include inflicting pain or leaving red marks or bruises on a child? Is it reasonable discipline to use a switch, a paddle, or other object in spanking a child? Obviously there are differing opinions on this subject, and because of this, any child abuse legislation must precisely define terms to ensure that parents maintain the right to administer reasonable corporal discipline without fear of being imprisoned.

Home School Legal Defense Association will continue to track the progress of SB 2180 and work with the homeschoolers of Mississippi to bring about a defeat of this dangerous bill."

http://www.hslda.org/hs/state/ms/201201230.asp



note 9
extract from HSLDA FAQ
"8. Why does HSLDA support efforts to constitutionally define marriage as between a man and a woman?
The following answer is an excerpt from a letter written by HSLDA Chairman of the Board and General Counsel Mike Farris:

. . . We are a Christian organization (see answer to question number 4 above). This colors our way of thinking about many things. Fundamentally, it is reflected in what we believe is truth.

All truth is God's truth. Man's knowledge is limited. We think we know something only to find that future generations have found that we really didn't know what we are talking about.

The truth is that God created the family. It is God's view of the family that is reflected in our western civilization and in our law until very recently. If we tear down this God-based view of the family, then all of the God-based principles in our society are ultimately at risk.

The reason we have parental rights is because our law assumes that God gave children to parents, not the state. If we eliminate the assumption of God from our law, parental rights and human rights themselves are impossible.

I was in the Soviet Union in 1988 arguing for parental rights and religious freedom with the government of the USSR. They asked, "Where are such rights based in any international legal document?"

I answered, "If rights are based on man-made documents they are not rights, they are privileges. What man makes, man can change."

Only if rights come from God is it illegitimate for man to take another's rights.

It is impossible to say that the God of the Bible would sanction rights of homosexual marriage. Thus, there is no such right in a God-based theory of rights. Any man-made theory of rights is no theory at all. ... HSLDA is not willing to move into an era of human privileges. We believe this would jeopardize our liberty to teach our children at home and bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Blessings,

Michael Farris"
https://www.hslda.org/docs/faqs/default.asp#q008



note 10
HSLDA many objections towards improving tolerance towards gay people

http://www.hslda.org/search.asp?cx=003292018161232433569%3At9te_l-65iw&cof=FORID%3A9&ie=UTF-8&sa.x=0&sa.y=0&sa=Search&q=homosexual+homeschoolers

link Italiano (How the stereotype lives on DESPITE the number of people choosing home education for religious reasons has fallen from two thirds to just over one third in a period of five years.)

http://labiondaprof.wordpress.com/2012/03/20/homeschooling-in-italia-perche/


http://www.loccidentale.it/node/112583 (the homeschoolers helping Rick Santorum were in no small number from Generation Joshua http://www.pcusa.org/news/2012/3/6/rick-santorums-secret-army-home-schoolers/)

Quiverfull and homeschooling, link in Italiano
http://www.mokysblog.com/2012/05/famiglie-americane-una-faretra-piena-di.html

in Italian
L'istruzione a domicilio in tutto il territorio nazionale deve la sua legalizzazione, nel 1993,
al lobbismo della Home school legal defense association (Hslda), organizzazione evangelica
che conta più di ottantamila famiglie"
http://www.monde-diplomatique.it/LeMonde-archivio/Settembre-2008/pagina.php?cosa=0809lm22.01.html

From VATICAN INSIDER
"E’ quanto afferma Hslda, un’organizzazione non-profit che si batte da trent’anni in
America per garantire il diritto ai genitori di educare privatamente i figli. !
ASbc-TV ha deciso di prendere a bersaglio direttamente i cristiani con quello che in realtà
è un hate speech”, scrive il direttore di Hslda. “Questo programma ridicolizza i cristiani,
il cristianesimo, la Bibbia e i simboli cristiani in una maniera che sarebbe impensabile
se diretta verso un qualsiasi altro gruppo religioso. Per esempio, nella pagina di Facebook
si dice che ‘la fessura fra i seni ti aiuta a tenere dritto il crocifisso’. Potreste immaginare la
reazione della comunità musulmana se un messaggio del genere, completo di una foto altamente
suggestiva avesse per bersaglio la fede islamica?”.
Conclude Hslda: “Queste decisioni sono rese possibili dal fatto che sta diventando
pubblicamente accettabile umiliare il cristianesimo”."

http://vaticaninsider.lastampa.it/homepage/nel-mondo/dettaglio-articolo/articolo/stati-uniti-united-states-estados-unidos-13323/


VOCE EVANGELICA - CONGRESSO AMERICANO E LOBBY RELIGIOSE
"l’Home School Legal Defense Association (organizzazione che difende “il diritto costituzionale
dei genitori a indirizzare l’educazione dei propri figli”: 11 milioni, 2009).
Sono circa 300 le istanze di cui queste organizzazioni si fanno promotrici: un quinto
si focalizza solo su questioni interne, un sesto esclusivamente su questioni internazionali,
mentre il 64% su entrambe le tipologie di questione. Sul fronte interno tra i temi più gettonati ci
sono le relazioni Stato-Chiesa, la difesa dei diritti civili, la libertà religiosa delle minoranze,
le questioni legate ad aborto e fine vita. Sul piano internazionale: i diritti umani in generale,
la riduzione del debito e le tematiche economiche in genere, la promozione della pace. "
http://www.voceevangelica.ch/focus/focus.cfm?id=15956


La Reppublica, motivazione Americani, NON Italiani.
" Per il 31% dei genitori iscritti all'Hslda si tratta di un modo per evitare che i bambini entrino in
contatto con droga, bullismo, parolacce e volgarità. Il 30%, invece, preferisce optare per una
ferrea educazione morale e religiosa da impartire all'interno delle mura domestiche,
mentre il 16% si è detto insoddisfatto degli standard d'insegnamento nelle scuole locali
frequentate dai propri figli. Tra le altre motivazioni, anche la possibilità di permettere ai bambini
di esplorare il mondo, sviluppare l'immaginazione e competenze da poter sfruttare negli anni
successivi oppure quella di averli sempre vicini, a casa, e non perdere i loro anni più belli."
http://www.repubblica.it/2005/k/sezioni/scuola_e_universita/servizi/classivirtuali/homeschooling/homeschooling.html?ref=search

Links In English

Forum members explain

"Why people don't like HSLDA" (from mainly structured, classical homeschoolers)
http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=140185


Joyce Fetteroll (well respected unschooler) expresses her qualms re HSLDA (scroll down)
http://familyrun.ning.com/forum/topics/do-you-have-a-minute?commentId=2184370%3AComment%3A94596&xg_source=activity

Sandra Dodd expresses that HSLDA is problamtic and does not support unschoolers
http://familyrun.ning.com/forum/topics/2184370:Topic:40109?commentId=2184370%3AComment%3A40243

"Does not support all homeschoolers: The homeschool Legal Defense Association has strict guidelines as to what type of homeschooling families they will support and what type they will not. You cannot just join the HSLDA, you must apply. Rules you must follow to maintain membership include, supervising children under 14 at all times, not be in legal trouble (with a few exceptions), you must also used a recognizable curriculum and not unschool. In addition, they will not represent a single parent in a custody battle."

http://homeschooling.families.com/blog/hslda-the-bad

"Secret negotiations by HSLDA"

"HSLDA is another concern. I have my own opinions on HSLDA from my personal experience with them. When you visit the HSLDA website, you can clearly see their own religious agenda. Google them and you will find their anti-gay stances. They also seem to be much more comfortable representing families that use a set curriculum, preferably one that they approve of. Where does that leave the unschoolers and the more eclectic and free spirited members of our community? I am all for HSLDA coming in and representing their clients in individual cases, even a group of their members in a case, but to come into a state and present themselves as “the” authority to speak on behalf of all homeschooling families is a bit much. They have a history of doing this on a national level as well. They completely refused to listen to anything that anyone outside of their closed circle has to say"

http://www.thatmom.com/2011/02/28/homechooling-mom-hits-the-nail-on-the-head-with-the-problem-of-secret-negotiations-being-held-by-hslda-iche-etc/

HSLDA and politics, from mainly structured homeschoolers
http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=315007

Are you a member of HSLDA ? (mainly structured homeschoolers)
poll result
http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/poll.php?do=showresults&pollid=3390

reasons why not stated in forum
http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=363399&highlight=HSLDA

"In order to receive HSLDA’s services, you must agree to use “an organized curriculum and a clearly recognizable program of education,” which may be very difficult for unschoolers."

http://hsislegal.com/


"Home School Legal Defence Association (HSLDA)
Canada

Web site: hslda.ca
HSLDA is a Christian, nonprofit advocacy organization established to protect family freedoms and to defend and advance the constitutional right of parents to direct the education of their children. Supported by a legal team and run by "an active board of directors, all of whom are homeschooling fathers who give guidance and direction to the organization," HSLDA provides annual memberships to homeschooling families which entitle them to receive legal support at no extra charge should they need it in the course of exercising their homeschooling rights. You do not have to be Christian to belong, but you do have to agree to "use an organized curriculum and a clearly recognizable program of education to instruct [your] children." HSLDA has been active in fighting against certain policies of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child and in defending parental use of "reasonable corrective discipline."
http://www.flora.org/homeschool-ca/support.html

long standing postion of vociferously supporting the parental right to practice corporal punishment, on little kids.

1n 2000
"HSLDA’s sustained lobbying against the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child — the top issue cited in an “issues alert” sent by the HSLDA to all members of Congress last fall — is necessary because “if children have rights, they could refuse to be home-schooled, plus it takes away parents’ rights to physically discipline their children,” says Klicka. He had a similar explanation for the group’s opposition to increased federal child abuse laws — more laws would mean more likelihood that corporal punishment could be defined as child abuse. (Just this month, administrators from Patrick Henry College were among those testifying before the Virginia Department of Social Services for a measure that would allow foster parents to physically discipline foster children.)"
http://www.salon.com/2000/10/02/homeschooling_battle/


in 2007
"=================================================
>From the Home School Legal Defence Association E-lert Service…
=================================================

December 4, 2007

Massachusetts–Your Calls Made a Difference!

Dear HSLDA Members and Friends,

Thank you to everyone who contacted their legislators about House Bill 3922, which would prohibit corporal punishment of children in Massachusetts–your calls made a difference! We believe that your calls helped convince the legislature to let this bill die in committee.

In addition to your contacts, several pro-family representatives attended last week’s committee hearing in opposition to the bill, which has little chance of passing. The Massachusetts public is overwhelmingly against House Bill 3922, and even Senator Karen Spilka, co-chairwoman of the committee on Children, Families, and Persons with Disabilities commented that the state will not be banning corporal punishment (See http://www.hslda.org/elink.asp?id=4569 )."
http://kevinjthompson.wordpress.com/category/spanking-bill/

2010
"While the HSLDA does not hold an official position on the use of corporal punishment, Donnelly said it is clearly up to parents to determine whether corporal punishment is an appropriate form of discipline."
http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/swedish-parents-jailed-for-spanking-children-seized

While they may not officially declare a position on corporal punishment, it would seem in the light of all the info that points to them being just a tad enthusiastic about maintaining the right to hit kids, some (self defining as Gentle) Christians started to become ambivalent about them...
http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/showthread.php?t=211534




The use of the expression "train up a child"

Micheal Farris speaks on the subject "Train up a Child"
"I was forced to mow the lawn, paint the house, re-roof our house, dig ditches for our irrigation system, and dig up some awful stuff in the yard called “quack grass.” I look back today and believe that my father did me an enormous amount of good by forcing me to work and work hard"
http://www.hslda.org/docs/hshb/95/hshb9525.asp

and reams of other articles on HSLDA containing "train up a child"
http://www.hslda.org/search.asp?cx=003292018161232433569%3At9te_l-65iw&cof=FORID%3A9&ie=UTF-8&sa.x=0&sa.y=0&sa=Search&q=train+up+a+child

But so far I have't found anything where the organisation distances itself from the Pearls, who wrote the book "To Train up a Child". Which I would expect to see plastered all over the web if they were wholly against the sort of parenting the Pearl's promoted.

Exerpt from amazon reviews of the Pearls book "To Train up a Child"

"This is a book about how to "condition" children into obedience like one might condition a dog into obedience.
Except that these techniques are generally considered abusive and counterproductive amongst professional dog trainers, so yes, this is basically a manual for child abuse. It is based on a single Bronze Age principal from Proverbs 13:24, pithily stated by Samuel Butler (in a satirical poem): spare the rod and spoil the child."

"There was stuff in the books that I read and thought, "well that's a little extreme." Stuff that I did not apply. Such as "beware of a infant crying to manipulate you." "Spank until the child stops crying." I am ashamed to write I did this once. I felt so terrible afterwards that I never did again. I also do not agree with "breaking a child's will." God does not break our wills..why would I want to break my child's? I hate that one line he says over and over, "what your child is at 2 he will be at 12" I was stuck on this one and was so sure I was failing when my 2 year old was whinning excessivly. I started to hate the kind of parent I was becoming. So I started reading other books and have backed off. Please if you feel like you are being too over zealous with the dicispline read "Grace Based Parenting," by Dr. Tim Kimmel. I was so convicted reading this and have changed the way I see my children drastically. I just don't see any room for grace or room for mistakes in the Pearl's way of doing things. Then I read the whole thing about the 7 year old getting beat to death and it was like a slap in the face."

"What confuses me is why people think they need to hit, spank, smack or paddle their children in order for them to listen. I am a mom of 2 children under 2, a Sunday school teacher and a follower of Christ. Those who need to resort to spankings have obviously have not tried other methods.
I have a 2 year old and we ONLY use our hands for high fives and hugs. My daughter does not get everything she wants. My daughter knows that she is safe in my home, loved and well taken care of. Have ANY Of you talked with children who grew up in the "To train up a child home??
Well meet me. I think the book sucks! I am a 25 year old wife and mother of two. I grew up being spanked and hit till I was finally able to hit back. The only thing my parents taught me was fear. I grew up in FEAR because I was getting smacked for every transgression I ever committed. Why do you think you have to spank a child in order for them to listen??"

http://www.amazon.com/To-Train-Up-A-Child/product-reviews/1892112000/ref=cm_cr_dp_qt_hist_one?ie=UTF8&filterBy=addOneStar&showViewpoints=0

Was it done to "save the planet" ?

I dunno, perhaps an eco choice to save trees by cutting down on paper usage ? Concerns about fossil fuel consumed by the postal system ?

I'm trying to give the benefit of the doubt here, but struggling mightily.

Because for the life of me I don't understand why I am hearing the results of my declining to exercise my right to the annual exam for homeschoolers....via my son, in lieu of an offical letter from the school.

Information which he got via his friends in his former class, when he was at youth club.

Yup. The teacher announced (in rather snotty, disparaging terms) details regarding my son's academic and legal status in the education system ....to his former class, on the last day of school (Friday).

Yesterday seven of them individually told my lad what she had said. It's not like I have a hard time believing them because...

only myself, my husband and the school knew all of the contents of our letter. Son of Thor knew one bald fact. (until of course his mates informed him).
this is not the first time this has happened.

I guess I could phone all their mums, gather evidence and play merry hell. But you have to batter a child in your class whilst it is infested with hidden camera before any preliminary sanctions are made. And even then it is not a foregone conclusion that justice will out.

The most likely result would be the teacher working out which kids in the class "are to blame" for generating a complaint and consciously or sub consciously taking it put on them. Cos that's happened before too.

Because I worked in state schools and trained state school teachers long enough to know that far too many are unable to realise they have been the architect of their (mild) misfortune. Nope, it is always somebody else's fault for tittle tattling, rather than a rueful realisation that behaving unprofessionally is a wholly personal choice.

Oh well, "school employees behave in rather unprofessional manner" isn't exactly a "hold the front page" deal. It's not like it is a shock to the system anymore, not after 8 (very long) years of dealing with the school network here in my corner of Italy. I guess I should save any surprise for the first time I interact with a school here and everybody behaves impeccably.

Pray for me

I am about to set off so I can endure three hours of children murdering dirgy classical music, in a provincial theatre that always leaves its doors open so the mosquitoes charge in after light and dinner, and I have run out of repellant.

Kill me now.

Controversially Challenged

This was first posted right back when I started home educating. Some things have changed, for a start I'm not the only homeschooler in my region anymore. However the thrust holds true even after all this time. By the bucketload.

.…

Controversially Challenged

On a list stating who home education is right for I noticed a paragraph that said I was wrong for it.

Cos I am a "conformist".

Well I am not in the usual interpretation of the word, but when you read lots and lots and lots of homeschooling forums and blogs you pretty quickly work out what linguistic tendencies are broadly adopted. "Conformist" is used again and again in contexts where "conventional" is what is actually being described.

It's fairly standard in communities that feel embattled or misrepresented, individual terms get over-egged to match the rest of the souped up lexis.


Which would also explain why my eyes have been so regularly assailed by profile tags, blog badges and usernames proclaiming

"XXX homeschooler !!!!!"

The XXX standing for a range of the most floridly extreme adjectives.

If I were to take those self -descriptions as accurate and a good representation of the norm then I'd almost be scared to meet a real live homeschooler in the flesh.


I'd be expecting the love child of Lara Croft, all of the Greenham Common women and Joan of Arc.

Probably armed with a hot glue gun and singing "onward Christian/unschooling/pagan/classical/healing crystal soldiers" (delete as applicable) in a rather menacing soprano.


Set against that image, yes I am a "conformist" in comparison. I'm as radical as a wet weekend in Wolverhampton. My idea of a vigorous protest against social constraints on my freedom of expression is to not warm the pot before I make the tea.

I am the only home educator in Lomellina and probably the only one in the entire region (that's about 1/2 a million people).

But the act of home educating doesn't define me as a non-conformist. Quite the opposite. It makes me as conventional as they come. An English woman tightly gripped with the national obsession of getting the best possible education they can for their kid.

House price bubbles in the catchment area of a particularly well performing school.
How to hedge your bets when making your choices.
Tips and tricks for getting a place in your top pick,
Which headmasters are currently cowering under their desk cos they rescinded the "automatic entry for siblings" rule.
Advice for dealing with depression and anguish if you child doesn't get into the school you wanted.
How not to transmit your stress over a getting place in a good school to your child.
10 reasons not to kill yourself if you only get offered your third choice.

That lot above is bread and butter for a quality British newspaper. We lap it up.

Since the options in the UK are not the ones I have here I just transferred the convention into my geographical reality and HomeEd was the single realistic choice.

I didn't "think outside of the box", I ordered one. Full of books.


I didn't "shake up the system" or "mix it up" or anything as exciting as that. I did my usual, conventional, boring "sucking it up" and "getting on with it" (thought I'll admit to a few domestic hissy fits and bouts of imaginary banging fist on desk) and it was a road that led me to the same destination as the trailblazers when dealing with officious bureaucrats and relatives suffering from a fit of the vapors.

I didn't stick two fingers up to the "herd mentality" at mainstream school, I merely upped the number of times a week the mini representatives of the "herd mentality" came over to play. Just like they have always done, but a bit more often.

If the Homeschooling community promotes an image where non-conformism and being "alternative" is seen as an essential quality my biggest concern is there will never be the popular critical mass in HE that is needed to remove its secondary status.

Maybe that's the point. How can you keep calling yourself a rebel if the act that defines your rebellion has become as conventional and controversial as putting a child into mainstream education ?

(prints self T Shirt proclaiming "boringly normal, unspecial, somewhat flawed and rather conventional Homeschooler. Hear me roar put the kettle on!")

where to put the footie ?

Preliminary timetable for next year.

I hope the big boys football club meets up after 6 pm

Why can't he do volleyball? Their scedual fits in perfectly with InterHigh School and all the other stuff crammed into his day.

I need my sister to look at this, I'm sure an organised person would make less of a meal (and pig's ear) out of creating a timetable.

I need to fit in two hours for Italian history and geography in this. But WHERE?

Did the earth move for you too?

Fucking hate earthquakes. The sofa undulated under me. And not for a few seconds. Several times. I just sat there (under a beam, obviously) wondering why my body was playing tricks on me. Heart goes out to all those who felt the full force and are having to manage the aftermath.

I can haz procrastination...?

I have to rewrite all the legal info for homeschooling in Italy cos...well things have changed. And I will. Just as soon as I can persuade my arse to get off the sofa and my hands to put down the iPad and stop mindlessly surfing as a displacement activity. I know I'll enjoy the process once I get going....but oh, at the start it feels like I am asking myself to do ten impossible things before breakfast and my lazybum self wants to hide under a duvet and vegetate instead of thinking and typing. I will post this then START! (possibly)

Home Ed in Italy friendly Lawyer

So, I teach a lawyer. His English is advanced. I have "turned" him HE-wise. He used to be highly skeptical, but I brought him around (and not by tortuing him with phrasal verb homework until he begged for mercy and said "ok ok I give up, Homeschooling is quite a good idea really", all thanks to reasoned debate I promise ( :

Anyway,he has been invaluable with helping me understand my legal position and is on call to dive in and batter the authorities with lawerly rightousness if they get funny with me over my insisting they respect the law when it comes to the annual exam.

So I asked him how he would feel about being possibly contacted by other homeschoolers, especially those who do not have fabby Italian and feel overwelmed trying to manage the process in the "wrong" language. He is up for it, but less than impressed by my desire to publish his name and number. So if anybody feels they need a lawyer who has an understanding of the laws involved and speaks English, please ask for contact details on my brand new special "Home ed in Italy only" email address.

he_in_italy@yahoo.co.uk

There is another lawyer who I know has solid experience dealing with HE in Italy, don't know about his English though. Will find out and let people know.

My Greek Tragedy

Fecking Eurozone. Months and months of trying to work out complicated economic political stuff and all I can conclude with any real conviction is....."it's all gone horribly wrong".

Well that's just effing brilliant.

Cos the austerity measures due to come into force very soon mean we can no longer realistically afford to have MIL live in her own home with a carer.

So she is moving in with me. And her carer is heading back to Peru cos he says the future is too bleak over here and over there offers better opportunities.

I think in the name of all things fair that she should go and live with a Euro MP...or even Monti. Or (evil cackle) a banker!

I reckon everybody in the Eurozone should support my campaign to have bankers and politicians share their home with my MIL. Cos I guarantee that with three weeks of her being their room-mate they will enter stage left, wailing, rending their clothes and happily signing any legislation you ask them that prevents them from fucking up the world economy in the name of personal profit EVER AGAIN!!......, just as long as we promise to let them have their home back sans the human version of the Energiser bunny (with extra added psychosis).

Game Changer.

This could change the face of home education, home schooling, unschooling (delete as personally applicable) as we know it….in Italy.

The exams are NOT a legal requirement.

Can I repeat that for effect…with drum roll please.

The exams are NOT a legal requirement.

However we are in Italy, so expecting something simple, tidy and automatic in terms of bring reality and on paper requirements into line is not that reasonable ( :

Basically there is a ministry circular that states home schoolers must sit an annual exam. It does not cite a law, just baldly states the obligation exists.

There is a relevant law, but guess what!

 It says our kids have a *right* to take the exam.

No mention of our kids *having* to do it, a case rather of the school  having to provide the exam should we desire it.

How cheeky is that LOL. 

(that is an ironic LOL by the way, I don’t thinking it is haha funny at all. The jammy baskets pulled a fast one on me. I find that not gigglesome at all. But it is ironic LOL as a response to the discovery of slight legal fudging, or a month long chunter…and I’m too busy for an extended chunter at the moment).   

A right becomes an obligation with slight of hand with a side serving of innocent, wide eyed blinking in place of citing an actural real live law to back up their commandment from on high.

Jammy gits got away with it as well.

I have to admit, even after I read the relevant law and circular about a 100 times thinking “there must a be a tiny clause somewhere that contradicts the letter and spirit of the law and supports the circular”…but no. It really is that bald faced.

I even tortured entertained one of my students (who happens to be a lawyer) by making him read it all a million times to confirm that, no I’m not mad. The ministry is making up obligations they can’t enforce because there are no legal teeth to add bite to this regulation based woof.

So watch this space, cos I am about to inform my school  director (in the nicest possible terms) that we do not wish to exercise our right to an exam and we do not accept said exam is obligatory.

Being in Italy, even with my personal "legal eagle" giving me the go ahead, this could turn into a tussle. Don’t forget I’m dealing with the same director who told me (what feels like a half a bleeding century ago) that homeschooling was totally illegal here and I would end up in handcuffs if I tried to do it. So I’m pretty sure he won’t just take my word for it. 

I've found bureaucracy here can get a bit shouty and “do as you are told plebe! How very, very dare you argue and demand fact checking!!!”,  before gracelessly conceding some 6 weeks later “oh actually, as you were, seems you weren’t wrong, never mind, don’t hold your breath for an apology for the initial misinformation or you’ll end up turning blue and your head will explode” .

I’ll blog it as it happens.

(chanels Katie Adie like mad)

(imagines self in flak jacket with microphone outside of school breathlessly reporting that we have permission to meet the dictator director)

If it all goes well and research thus far translates into practical application, everything changes.

You want to come here and unschool your kid, follow your own country's curriculum, or just not replicate the Italian ministerial curriculum in terms of great gobs of grammar and text analysis...... all without fear of exam performance hanging over your head, you’ll be able to.

So wish me luck.

Cos I’m going over the top chaps.

(end hyperbole)

Dear Samantha Brick

I'm not sure the promotional capital you sought will do the book you have coming out as much good as you thought it would .

Oh and PS

February = Sfiga

Litany of month long woe. I turned 44. The big freeze left us without water for ten fecking days (all plumbers busy due to everybody else being without water too for the same reason). 1000 euros and millions of new pipes later life returns to normal. Which you should never say out loud because you will attract the evil eye or similar. I know this cos the day after I said it during my first proper shower since the big freeze.....I heard a scream from female next door, charged over and found male neighbour had dropped dead It was awful. Dreadful. The pain of his wife and children broke my heart. The day after the funeral I thought, Ok, a little normality. Grateful sigh. And not an hour later did a high speed evacuation of the house removing people, animals (various) and irreplaceable possessions while waiting for the fire brigade, as smoke accumulating in my loft poured downstairs. Scaring the knickers off me. Fecking enormous mice chewed through concrete (rendered fragile by the big freeze) and build a nest of plastic next to my flue pipe, which then combusted next to wooden beams. No harm done. Except to my face. Which aged 10 years. So the next day I was clearing up the mess (in the cold cos we have to ensure mouse annihilation before lighting the fire again to avoid a repeat) and stupidly breathed a sigh of relief that now, finally, normal life will recommence. But the next day one of my dogs inexplicably dropped dead. So more upset replaced bog standard life. Oh yeah, and due to snow keeping the Cascina kids away from school there was a "discussion" between we the Cascina mums and the school about the validity of asking children to do all their normal homework and catch up three days lost work; without the aid of a 46 hour day being introduced....I am now officially a home educator again. So normal life sort of became suspended while I work put how to change gear again. Who hexed me? And can you stop now please. I'm only missing the police nee narring down here to make it best of three at this point. Thank God Feb is done.  March has to be boringly normal. Right? (makes sign of the horns)     Sarah - Sent from my iPad

Hell is an ice skating rink.....

...due to unforcast cold snap.

The impossible happened.

I made a crafty thing.

As a hysterical displacement activity.

Cos MIL was discharged from hospital still psycotic.

Why?

Cos they x rayed her and discovered her hip has a hairline fracture.

Only in mental health do you leave hospital BECUASE something is broken, to the background noise of the health service frantically washing their hands of a geriactric, bed blocking, walking (well, wheelchairing), talking (without ever stopping to draw breath, possibly she has evolved to inhale through her ears thus ensuring the stream of warped conciousness never ceases for a millisecond) Medical Encyclopedia of Maladies.

But still, never mind, I shall not fall into a heap this time and not cope, having to slink off into internet hibernation while licking wounds and muttering darkly to myself, cos......look what I made (bursts with pride and fancies self as the soon to be discovered Picasso of the ...what is this decade? The teenies? S'not the noughties anymore is it ?

As the decade's artistic genius I want a special name for MY decade. /haughty sniff.

If you are on Pinterest tell me you handle so I can stalk follow you.

Where did the fecking spellchecker go?

Don't want upgraded blogger dahsboard if my crap spelling is going to be revealed in all,its dislecsick glory.

Dislecsick English teacher. It's like I set out to make life as hard as possible for myself (:

Nearly a year?

I shut up for nearly a year?

A personal best.

Very quick update. Five minutes after I paid for all the books for the next school year Son of Thor decided he wanted to go back to school. So he did. And to cut a long story very short (for now) this is where he is going next year.

 Inter High online secondary school.

Officially this is still home education so the testing, the being overseen by the school, the paperwork, it begins again. And it is still home ed where Italian epics\grammar\various other language arts, maths in Italian, Italian focused history and geography is concerned. But The Sock Dropper has really stepped up to the plate this academic year with homework. And discovered he is utterly brill at one to one teaching. Getting the child to not only learn in the understanding sense of the word, but also filling it with giggles and enjoyment. He is amazing at achieving the parrot fashion learning thing too, which should make exams easier. So I'm dumping all that on him next academic year.

The blog will now be focused on life as it happens, with massive school based whinges until June probably, then home ed, but also all the other aspects on my day to day headless chicken impression.

I just didn't enjoy being sucked into the home ed political, philosophical thing. So I want to step back from that and avoid getting pulled back in to the debates again by not identifying primarily as a home educator \ homeschooler. My son's school experience sucks, but that doesn't mean school sucks. Home ed is a great solution to our knotty problem, but it is not the One Great Educational Solution (IMO) and is not without its drawbacks, weak spots and risks.

I don't want to be boxed in by focusing on my being "A Something", not an expat, not a home edder, not a carer for a mentally ill person (back in hospital with mania, but she had a great Christmas, we slept for two days solid after she left LOL)...just a woman alternatively blundering, waltzing, dancing, clod hopping through daily life and trying not to fuck her kid up too much ( :

So I'll write about that.

And pilgrims.

Blog No More

This blog is now closed.

I'm leaving up the content in case any of the info is useful for anybody, and the stuff that isn't useful I'm leaving cos I'm too lazy to trawl through it to delete.

I am not a freebie relocation consultant.

Forgive the tone but I am deeply pissed off. One harpy has brought a simmering heap of resentment to a head.

Here is the deal. I am more than happy to answer emails from people looking for more information about home educating in Italy. I did it all by myself, in the dark, all alone and that experience has made me very pro shining a torch on the process.

BUT

I have a job, I home educate, I have a household to run and a geriatric, severely mentally ill mother in law to care for which at times can be overwhelming. The last, when a crisis hits, can be so time consuming that the three previous roles end up a bit squashed, meaning their recuperation is my number one priority immediately after things calm down. My bulging inbox is low down the list of priorities when the house is a tip, my son needs my attention in all spheres and my pile of student's homework to mark is towering.

So,

Rule one, have realistic expectations of me. I am not a home education fairy and your wish for information is not my command. There will be times when your wish for info isn't even anywhere close to being my priority. Just like you, I have a life and it can get in the way of my availability to answer questions. You number in the hundreds and I am just one (buzy) woman.

Rule two, like everybody else I get my share of spammy, speculative emails. Given the nature of my blog many of them will have generic "homeschool" or "home educate" subject lines. So if you want information please use "wanna home ed in Italy" in the subject line. I'll set up an email rule, so those emails go into their own folder, immediately separated from the piles of dross, which should eliminate the handful of emails that get buried alive, never to be opened under a pile of crap.

Rule three, of the hundreds of emails I have received a good number seem to think I am a freebie relocation consultant. I am not an American, I am an EU citizen, I haven't been through the process of getting visa's\work permits etc. and answering those questions is basically asking me to do the research that you should do yourself. Ditto claiming citizenship based on a relative having emigrated from Italy. Questions about employment, housing, lifestyle, dietary requirements are also well beyond my brief. Please ask those questions at the expats in Italy forum. I can only deal with the home ed questions, not cos I'm being shitty, but because I simply don't have enough hours in my day to research and respond with a detailed answer to emails where 3\4 of the questions have nothing to do with home ed.

Rule four, if you don't get an answer, first check that you haven't created a need for your email to be put to one side until I have more time to spare because you have asked an avalanche of questions that have nothing to do with HE, chances are if you did, I'll get distracted by life and forget it is lurking in my drafts folder. If it is just HE questions, you may well have written to me at a time when it has all gone bent and I am up to my ears in crisis management. Try sending it again in a week, be patient, send it again if you have to. I'm not ignoring you, I just haven't noticed you because a spitting, hissing, self destructive old woman in full blown mania having florid psychotic episodes is huge competition when it comes to catching my attention.

Rule five, if you throw a hissy fit because I missed your emails (that were 3\4 about relocation issues like visas, work permits etc), and the only communication of yours that I manage to dig out from the pile is the one where you liberally insult me for not doing your bidding on your timescale and attempt to hold ME responsible for the fact that you weren't in a position to take a job because you chose not to pay for time sensitive expert advice, well...your email address will be blocked. Cos life is just too short.

And I would caution against moving to Italy if you are going to get so wound up about missed communications from a voluntary, informal source. Boy, do you ever have massively unrealistic expectations with regards to Italian bureaucracy if you get apoplectic about a few emails slipping through the net. The "vanishingly rare"nature of home education in Italy means you have to have the ability to self direct and the personality that lets you take leaps into the dark. Because there is no huge precedent that goes before you, nor is there a well established network or association to closely support you. You are creating a need for a school to venture into uncharted territory, they probably won't like it, they will probably feed you misinformation, as will many other official or unofficial sources of misinformation. If you can't hold your nose and leap anyway, homeschooling here is probably not going to be within your comfort zone. Expat life in Italy possibly won't be either, in general misinformation is the rule rather than the exception in these parts.

Rule six, everybody else keep on asking what you need clarified. When I can, as far as I can, I'm happy to answer questions. Just bear in mind that I don't sit in front of the computer all day with my tongue hanging out in anticipation of home education related emails and cut some slack if you don't hear from me, because I'm probably dealing with a mentally ill old lady in a system where mental health provision is not seamless by any stretch of the imagination.

Rule seven, I'm not the only point of info on the web, this is great place to start, I know her, she is lovely, her English is perfect, in fact...go there first.

And here I will gather together the most common questions and attempt to answer them so those who need info in a time sensitive manner don't have to hang around waiting for MIL to be well.


Can I home school just in English ?
No. You have to do an Italian curriculum that is approved.


Can I unschool ?
Your child will be tested annually, if you fail two years running you will have your permission to home ed revoked. So yes, you can unschool, BUT only if you are 100% sure that the method will produce the results that the school is looking for in terms of reading, writing (in ITALIAN) and maths at any given age.



Are the rules different for children with SEN ?
Unchartered waters, since I don't know anybody home edding a child with notable SEN here. One school might be completely cool about it, another may kick up a right fuss based on their belief that you cannot possibly have the technical ability to take on their education. Unfortunately it is a question of "suck it and see what happens". You can always dereg from one school and register with another to try the process again if the first school is being difficult.



What if I'm only here for a short time?
Well then you are in luck ( =
The kids are tested annually and they have to fail two years running before your home ed status is at risk. If you are here for a timescale where it really doesn't matter if they pass or not, then once you've gone through the process of sorting out with the school that you are a homeschooler, just home ed as you see fit safe in the knowledge that you will be gone before it is an issue.

Can I home ed under the radar ?
Of course. However you will be running the risk of the police and social services on your doorstep. How much of a risk depends on so many factors like what kind of nieghbours you have, where you live (huge city v small town) and how gung ho the local school director is. Again you have to suck it and see what happens, on the basis that you think your risk factors appear very low and if it all goes bent you feel sure you can sort things out without getting sucked into the legal system. I am absolutely not going to recommend it, on the basis I don't want to get the blame if it all goes horribly wrong.

I need info on visas, work permits, employment, housing, dietary requirements, availability of SEN facilities....
You need to go here.
Unless you are demanding, shouty person who thinks you have a devine right to the info you want, being what you want, when you want it, on a platter in which case I think they'll probably tell you to bog off too.

Oh and to the ridiculous number of people who email me wanting to know if they can just come and stay with me for a few months, on the basis that we both home ed and they fancy a virutally cost free way of living in Italy for a bit,

NO, you cannot stay with me, I don't know you from Adam and the fact that you would ask a total stranger to put you up incidcates to me that I am not going to be your cup of tea.

boots

Please excuse mess, am going to funeral, not cleaned or tidied.

Just concentrate on the boots.

And yes I know my legs are too skinny for them.

But I like them anyway.

Lick my face, or I won't cry.

A few years ago my father in law died. At lunchtime. In August.


Have you ever tried getting a funeral director quickly in Milano at that time, during that month ? Fat chance.

The paramedics had made a mess, it was an emergency, that it just how it is.

My father in law was a proud and dignified man.

The only practical thing I could do to help my husband and my brother-in-law was spare them seeing him at the end of his life disheveled and stripped of his dignity. So I washed and dressed him. Not something I was every culturally prepared for, but it helped that I knew, that if he knew, he would have appreciated being touched and handled with respect and care.

And I don’t think I cried, I just did it, it felt right and I knew I was doing the right thing and I was the only family member who could it. I liked having something useful i could do that made things better,or at least stopped them being worse.

And yet tonight, when Rosie, my littlest doggie, my first ever doggy, slipped away like we knew she would, I buried her with no stiff upper lip to be found.

If you had given me the scenarios in the hypothetical I’d have told you that I simply couldn’t do the first, cos I’d fall apart at the seams, and the second would be easier cos I have had to bury pets before and the first cut is the deepest.

But I was wrong. I haven't built up any immunity at all.

Maybe I just like animals more than humans. Although I don’t think that is true. But maybe I don’t know myself as well as I thought I did.

Or maybe I can only grieve openly and unreservedly if a enthusiastic face licking and trying to trip me up twenty times a day is part of the relationship.

Mario already leaves his clothes lying around everywhere like deathtraps. Maybe if he slobbers on my face instead of kissing me in the morning he’ll up his chances of a properly mournful widow.

Cos I have already decided he is going first.

Because I want to lay him out, so the last hand that ever touches him on this earth is the one who loves him the most.

Although I’m not sure he is too happy about his placement in the queue of mortality organized behind his back.

Do I make sense ?

Probably not.

Is my heart broken ?

No.

My son, who will have some unhappy news in the morning, is snoring loudly, which means he is breathing and I have kept my sense of proportion.

I have a stubbed toe, not a broken back.

But it hurts, it really fucking hurts.

Am Queenie, pass the ermine.

I just got crowned !!!!! (means my review was supperfabbydozy and a bit special !!!!!!!!!!)

For my review of Mudd Mask.

If anybody else want to earn a bit of pin money (also in the form of amazon.co.uk vouchers for us expats with no UK bank account) just drop me a line at my email address sarahfonto AT alice.it)

This is fun ( =

I've never done any sponsored posts cos
A) Never been asked to
B) asummed it would be boring and I wouldn't be that good at it.

I may have to have a rethink now I am regal LOL

Obvously I can't write straight so this is my slightly tittersome version of reviewing a product.

Advantages: works brilliantly if used regularly


Disadvantages: no "sparkle" and no jumbo sized tube option.


The Testing Ground....... for a pure clay, deep cleaning (with no exotic "dead sea" heritage) facial mask.

I've been using Mudd Mask as long as I can remember, at least two decades, but currently it is applied to a 42 year old face, which is being deeply unfair to its owner by suffering from blemishes PLUS wrinkles.

Rather than combination skin it is more what I'd call "downright fickle about what state it wants to be" skin. It randomly changes from fairly dry in places (with oh so attractive flaking) to quite oily for my age group.

The face still gets spots despite its advanced years, in the main caused by environmental factors. Like getting covered in a fine layer of ash daily when emptying three big fireplaces.

Also gets a fair bit of garden ground in to it, thanks to my struggling with neurotic pumps down wells. Usually in the dark, while it is raining. Ending up with me falling flat on my face cos the Italian Sock Dropper has wandered off with the torch for fear that his Armani socks might get a bit damp. It's not helped by me sometimes falling off the non smoking wagon due to the stress of an extended pilgrim invasion.

The above guarantees a lack of effortless clear skin. I'm at constant risk of blocked, oversized pores, blackheads, small angry zits and when the ciggies get thrown into the mix...massive acne like spots too.

(God I sound attractive. Almost feel like throwing the Mudd Mask away next purchase and just sticking the bag on my head.)

The instructions on the tube are really sparse, so I've gone into more detail to give an idea of the use and what the product is like.

Pre application

If you don't use it regularly the mask is almost TOO effective at deep cleansing and drawing out impurities and for the next couple of days after application some new spots can pop up to join the ones you were trying to get rid of. So I'd say avoid using it a couple of days before a big event if you don't want to risk "post mask breakout" angst.

You need to rinse and dry your face to clean it first, in my experience steaming and other complicated prep makes no difference to the effectiveness of the mask.

Application

This product can separate a bit in the tube. At first squeeze you risk a sudden squirt, of what looks like a bad case of food poisoning affecting the lower digestive system, shooting all over your basin. Over time this squirty phase can mean the remaining product gets too dry and clumpy. So always shake the plastic tube of the Mudd Mask violently before you unscrew the lid.

In two decades I still haven't worked out which storage conditions cause this. I've kept the tube on window ledges, in total darkness (lost under laundry mountains in the bidet), in the wide variety of climates offered by Southern England, Yorkshire, Bangkok and various bits of Northern Italy. Makes no difference, it seems to separate according to its own personal agenda, when it feels like it . So good idea to always shake.

You squeeze the product onto your hand. How much can depend on the weather (on a hot and dry day a too thin layer on the face can cause a strangled yelp as your skin gets sucked backwards at warp speed 10 with no warning).

You also have to think about the size of area you want to cover and if you wish to use a slow drying facemask as an excuse for a quick nap.

I go for a pencil thick line, about as long as my palm diagonally, so I'm looking at something that resembles a shrunken, three day old decomposed slug that caught the sun. Greeny brown, a bit moist still, with a suspiciously clumpy texture. Luckily it doesn't smell of dead slug. Just a subtle, clean, but earthy, natural scent.

I stick my finger in the slug and apply generously to the T-zone. Just enough to cover the skin completely, not so much that I look like my face is melting.

The eye area needs to be given a wide berth, I aim to look like the negative of a deeply shocked panda.

To the rest of my face I apply what little product is left on my hand much more thinly, just a whisper of coverage. Unless I am having a random dry and flaky phase, then I avoid the more dehydrated areas, like cheeks and neck, altogether.

Processing

I have a low boredom threshold, so during the wait for the mask to dry I creep up behind my unsuspecting spouse, yell "GWWHAHWHAHWHA !". Then wet myself as he shrieks like a girl and leaps ten foot in the air at the sudden sight of my "Shrek's swamp" coloured, monster face.

About ten minutes of hysterical giggling later, more or less, I get the "Joan Rivers" feeling and know the mask is dry. It is uncomfortable cos the dried mask pulls on your skin and makes smiling, let alone laughing quite twingy.

That means the end of fun and games, so I pull my husband's fingernails out of the ceiling, lower him to the floor and then pootle back to the bathroom.


Removal

I rinse vigorously in warm, running water for what feels like a month of Sundays. Paying attention to creases as it tends to get stuck there. It takes ten times longer to get off than it takes to get on. If I'm having trouble getting it off completely I have to use a bit of facewash along with the elbow grease. It feels like you are getting nowhere for ages, and then suddenly it all starts to come off and you are finally done.

This is why the packaging says to expect to be a bit pink afterwards I think. Nothing to do with the mask in my opinion and everything to do with the effort and rubbing involved in getting the stuff off you.

Moisturize, abundantly in my random dry areas post mask, to avoid feeling tight around the gills.

Results

I always see an immediate, vast improvement in pore refinement which lasts until I get hot and sweaty cooking dinner, but for two to four days after that my pores still look clearer and tighter than before the mask.

Over the next few days the old, odd spot usually speeds up their disappearance. A few zits can suddenly pop up within the next 48 hours or so, which is why I avoid using the mask a few days before a party. I always find that, when washing and exfoliating for the next week, any stubborn clogged pores and blackheads liberate themselves in a jiffy.

Used regularly for a couple of months I find I hit a point where I can maintain fairly clear skin by preempting any breakouts by keeping my pores clear of what would have caused the spots to develop.

Verdict

I feel the product only really lives up to its full potential if you use it as per the instructions. Which is regularly enough to get past the "post mask break out" cycle, so it can function as a preventative, refining measure, rather than trying to manage spots and blackheads with it in an ad hoc fashion.

When I do maintain the routine for 8 weeks onwards my skin is brighter, cleaner looking, fresher, less break out prone and far freer of blemishes. It also helps refine the general texture of my skin, which helps my make up sit better allowing it to enhance, rather than struggle to cover up.

Niggles

I'm married to an Italian who has the famed defective gene that leads to ever optimistic, excessive bottom grabbing. Given the heightened risk I run of being hobbled with my tights half down and falling over in my efforts to avoid third party contact with an unsightly bottom, Mudd mask is perfect for when my rear has been encased in jeans or tights for weeks of winter and is not at its silky, smooth best.

As long as I remember to turn up the heating, to avoid chilly fluffy bits during the process, nooks and crannies carefully excused from participation, I can get a lot nearer to a perfect peach texture compared to pre treatment.

Given this additional usage I feel the mask should also be sold in considerably bigger tubes. Especially if I've been hitting the cake.

The other whinge is that the Mudd mask is so very basic in cost, packaging and presentation, making no attempt to frilly itself up in any way, that it leaves me open to infidelity with posher, less effective products as an attempt to seek out a "pamper" factor. Which then don't work so I am spotty AND poor. I feel they could try harder to inject just a little sparkle into the product.

Conclusions

It might not be pretty, or flashy or "spa" like, but despite the low cost (or maybe because of it) it works, and gets the results I want in terms of clearer, healthier looking skin. Top and tail. It only costs me about 5 Euros for a tube that seems to last for ages (during the parts of the year when I restrict the use to my face only, like a normal person) making it fabulous value for money.
Perhaps because it is so "hospital matron" there is a lack of incitement to make a beautification performance art piece out of the its use. Which lends itself better to the busy life of a working, home educating, wandering hand avoiding, time crunched woman. Who needs to squeeze in her skin care in a day which could do with at least another six hours added to it.


Summary: I may cheat on it, but I always come back to my staid and sluggy, honest Mudd

Mumsnetitus

I have it.

I can’t stop. I go just to have a peek and the next thing I know I’m embroiled in both a debate about home education v school and FFing V BFing, all at the same time (hey what can I say, I’m attracted to the “shoutier” debates)

This is not good for the house as I wander around listlessly flicking damp kitchen towel at epic disaster type burned on crap on hob. Muttering to myself, honing my next point, that I’m convinced absolutely needs to be made despite hours and hours of my life already have been spent on saying the same thing 50 times over.

What is it about the chance to argue the toss with other people that is so attractive ? It’s not like I don’t have plenty of opportunity to do word battle with the Sock Dropper, at length, in my own home.

I have a horrible feeling that this is the final proof that I am a grumpy old woman.

Cos as a hobby I actively seek out situations where I can vehemently disagree with people and make my disagreement known.

Which means any minute now I’ll probably sprout a floral pinny, a tight perm, a mouth like a cat’s bum and feel the need to sweep the road outside my house all day to improve my opportunities to tut, huff, puff and look for the opportunity to have random rows with passersby.

Am I being unreasonable to conclude that this is the final phase of me transmogrifying from a shiny young creature into an old woman ?

Or is that just excuse making and what I really need is a 12 step programme to wean me off my addiction to arguing the toss with strangers debating ?

swelled

I was trying to persuade the honeysuckle to go up the fence and something attacked me...I think wasp.

My hand went down yesterday, but during the night it has come up again.

Thankfully I forgot to put my wedding ring back on after yesterday's swelling or we would be on our way to get it cut off right about now.

EKK !

Whimpering about how painful and itchy whole hand is, especially unfair when having to concentrate on properties of numbers.

I'm in the mood for ..IKEA

My mood board, I went to IKEA on Thursday and got the bulk of the stuff I needed, matresses, bed linen, pillows, duvets etc and the Alvine pillow that is the central thing I have built the room around.

next to buy is the expedit and the assorted boxes to go in them for the long wall, I really like that vase on top too, wonder what plant that is and if do they do it in unkillable plastic ?

Considering using little Billys for bedside tables.

ohhh, nothing to do with the bedroom, but that pole arrangment I'm going to make for the hall. 

This is going to form my fake vanity table, cos I haven't found a real one I like. Going to hang an oval mirror just above the table top. 

My bed is now red, thanks to the Alvine influence, but I want the mosquito net.

Nearly there, just a few more hundred euros to spend and a husband to drive to distraction with my shopping obsession ( =

Junkie of the free software for kids kind

Slobbers on screen.


NB, this is not a sponsored post. I found this myself and just started using it half an hour ago. Not that anybody ever asks me to do sponsored post (mega sulk commences). I mean why does nobody ever ask me ? I'm unimportant aren't I ?. Don't answer that please, a girl has to hold onto whatever minor bloggy self esteem she has.

Have found a really easy to use DTP programme that basically allows the kid (or overgrown one in my case) to use create a school project, a poster (printable or online), a newsletter....anything really ...... with some really nifty features like easy photo cropping and masking, recording your voice straight into the page (nice for cutting down on eons of text if you have a reluctant writer and takes into account the "speaking" objectives of the literacy curriculum) and animating just about any part of your project that you fancy.

And it is FREE !!!!

Here is a video to show you what it can do. If you are home educating I think you'll find it a great "ITC" alternative to lapbooks, unit studies, files of study note. If you have a kid at school I'd consider it to help your kid consolidate a subject whilst providing imaginative and interesting revision resources.

Given that I think this the direction with will be seeing more and more production software going any kid that uses it even occasionally is going to have an edge. Because it seems some schools (here anyway) are very much into using dinosaur age packages.

Swamped

Knee deep in sorting out an IVA number (VAT), creating publicity materials, timetables, course outlines, tests to work out levels, book choices, pricing etc. etc. etc.....

My mini school is due to go live in just a few weeks and I feel like I am knee deep in quicksand.

If anybody has a spell as to how to create an extra ten hours per day and couple of extra days per week..I'd be most grateful.

On a more optimisitc note IKEA has halved the price of the tables I want for my classroom, so that's good.

Less fun is the eternal search for a whiteboard of decent proportions, cos the Sock Dropper has veetoed the interactive whiteboard until I have earned enough tax to be able to write off the cost...or something complicated like that, which sounds like him being a big meanie to me cos I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed an interactive whiteboard. I love them, they are so much fun.(sulks)

Ohhh I wonder if I can count new clothes and a diamond necklace or two against "costs", I mean I have to have a certain image don't I ?

Aristocratic Art of Distraction.

Why does a child have to die in order to generate enough focus and manpower for her siblings to be saved from protracted abuse ?

How many unaided and invisible children were left high and dry while one family suddenly got the attention and action they needed far, far too late ?

How come the social workers involved having an average caseload of 50, yes FIFTY, is given minimal attention ?

Why the current focus almost exclusively on home education as the key issue when the alarm bell was repeatedly rung by several increasingly concerned teachers, well before the children were removed from school as well as beyond ?

Don’t think for a minute that I have a blind spot when it comes to this case, caused by a desire to home educate unencumbered by regulation. I DO have a problem with the unanticipated (by the Italian state) issues that arise from the regulations I home educate under, but I am not HE regulation phobic by default.

I just can’t reject regs out of hand as inappropriate or unnecessary.

Not while I regularly breath a sign of relief that I was born in 68, well before HE was a known option. Thank God.

The idea of my mother coming across home education and being given a free rein makes my blood run cold. We’d have left the age of compulsory education as keen knitters and not much else. The only reason we were able to develop our own ideas, interests, opinions and personalities was because school gave us respite from a home somewhat oppressed by maternal personality and foibles. Nothing that would catch social services eye in of itself, but the potential to be educationally limiting and emotionally stifling from the children’s perspective none the less

So no, I can’t oppose the regulations I home educate under full stop. Although I reserve the right to fiddle with them (at least in my head), not to water them down, but because I’m pretty sure you could re-jig ours to take the curriculum sting out of them and sort out the “hostile, subjective and powerful” accountability environment for people, like me, who have had spectacular fallings out with the entity that oversees them.

With care, attention and consultation you can probably create a system that most of the time should red flag anybody who is off kilter in either welfare or educational terms, but which also goes to great lengths to avoid causing disadvantage to any particular type of home educator, other than the “loopholers”.

Yet a perfected set of regulations would still be absolutely useless as a safeguard if superimposed on a system of child protection that has been so battered and diminished by successive governments that it has fallen apart at the seams, to the point that it requires a lifeless child presented to it before it can react to an evident need of intervention.

There are children, pre school, in school, missing from education, in significant numbers who need immediate intervention today.

Just not going to happen while social workers are spread so thinly that they break…and then leave.

So the waving of a tragic case as a pretence that the sole issue is home education makes me feel ill.

Because the strategy is as transparent as it is devious. It is being employed to allow the same entity that systematically dismantled the safety net of social services, to kick the results of their decades long, lip service under the carpet.

How many more children are going to have to die or be irreversibly damaged before governments, past, present and future, take responsibility for years of “being seen to do something” knee jerks and focus their attention on putting social services back together as an effective, funded, supported and professionally run agency ?

If they don’t know where to start, try asking the social workers themselves. The eternal scapegoats when political policy comes to bloody fruition have no shortage of illustrated information as to how it has all gone horribly wrong and what can be done to darn a child protection safety net that is currently more hole than thread.

When you are talking about Khyra Ishaq, who hurtled through those innumerable, gaping holes and came crashing down in a lifeless, crumpled heap on the other side, how can you not make stitching back together the whole damn thing, for ALL of the children in harm's way, the absolute priority ?

Fix social services, as an absolute government priority, if you really give a damn about children at risk of serious or deadly harm..

I can live with my regulated status as a home educator in the main, but I don't want to have to live with headlines about children being starved to death despite alarm bells ringing, or toddlers being tortured to the point of a broken back until they die, under the noses of the very people who already have the powers (but not the manpower) to protect them.

So Dear Lord Soley, don't fiddle while Rome burns.